This is our story.
Or at least one small part of our story. Because it’s simply impossible to share everything and to start from beginning of it – for that I would have to go 15 years back when we first met. When we didn’t particularly liked each other, since we had a feeling that we were from two different worlds. I always seemed such a good girl, he was always a bad boy – both was partly true and partly not so much – but we played our roles pretty good at that time. We both wanted to stand out in our crazy way and two persons like that in one generation … that can be a problem. Well but we all know there is super fine line between “hate” and love … and that’s exactly what we figure out after few “I-could-kill-you-right-now” moments.
It’s been 10 years since we left Elementary school (here in my country you are in elementary school since age 6 (7) to age 14 (15) – educational system changed a bit since we left this institution, so these numbers has slightly changed too) and since we visit it for 8 years, you can imagine how many stories and memories were made between all of us.
I loved elementary school! When I look back I feel butterflies in my stomach, I miss all those stupid things we did together and I know those are the things that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. Sure there were moments we did childish mistakes and we hurt a lot of people with them. We said some things that were inconsiderate, we let our ego take the best of us. But at the end – I was so happy that I’ll be able to see all my classmates again – some of them almost literally after 10 years.
I didn’t plan to organize this reunion, but at the end I said “Ok, I’ll do it …” and boy am I happy I said yes when D. asked me to help him with organization. At the end we didn’t know who’s helping who and with what exactly – organization of this reunion become almost the least important thing, since we had so much to talk about and project “reunion” soon became project “we-still-like-each-other-more-than-we-ever-admitted.” We never talked like we did that night and we put our guards down completely – I’m sure for the first time in 15 years (yes, we really do know each other that long! 😉 ). There was no need for faking some non exist-able strength and when we both past our ego issues, when we honestly told each other how some situations in the past made us feel and said “sorry, I did that to you” (we both needed to hear that from each other) … everything became so clear and we knew exactly what we want.
And then a month after that night: Reunion nigh came. We were so thrilled to see how the things will develop and we just wanted to have fun with our friends. And it was one amazing and unforgettable night! Everything was just so perfect and beyond our expectations. Everyone seems to have fun and we love the fact, that after that night when we see a classmate they all say “It was so good! We have to do it again!” Best feeling ever.
During that night (reunion night) we didn’t want everyone to know just yet that we are back together – after crazy 10 years we were back together and we just weren’t ready to share it. Only one person (beside us) knew what was going one from the day one and we knew it will be so hard to fake it all night. But the truth is – it wasn’t hard, it was impossible! We couldn’t do it. We just wanted to be together all the time, our eyes were seeking for that look full of affection and although I promised myself I’m going to give him space so he can hang out with the guys and not be there – in front of him – all the time … I was so surprised when he actually called me (on cellphone) after he couldn’t find me inside. And of course my phone wasn’t near me, so I didn’t even knew at the time that he was looking for me. The point is – this was so him, this was that amazing feeling when you just know that someone will keep an eye on you, take care of you, protect you and be there for you – this never changed, it stayed that way from the day we past that “I don’t like you” stage 10 years ago. We finally admitted that we’re under each other skin – we always were, no matter what was going on in our lives or who were we dating. I’ll always be special to him and he’ll be to me – we always wanted to protect each other from pain and messed up situations. It’s a bond no one can break – it’s that “first-true-love-bond.” And I know right now, while you’re reading this: you have one special name in your mind. He or she that meant the world to you. And that’s what I’m talking about! 😉
So even if we agreed not to show everyone that we’re together that night, he couldn’t go through with it. And neither could I. We both needed each other so badly and there was just no point faking it anymore.
We went through a lot when we were first together (at the end of Elementary school and during some time in High school). We were just two crazy kids and we didn’t realized how important communication is in a relationship. We are both strong individuals and we knew exactly how to hurt each other feelings when we want to. Oh and did I mention how stubbornness and ego can kill a relationship too? Because trust me – we went through that too. And now when we’re a bit older and wiser we know how to step back, review things for a moment and start that conversation from scratch. I always say that we need to take one step out of that imaginary circle that we’re in, put our emotions on hold for a minute and hear the other side. And it works every single time, when you see things this way. I didn’t say it’s easy, because it’s not – but I do assure you – it works, but both sides must work together to achieve this.
So Reunion night ended around 6 am for us, but it wasn’t really an end, because we made some great plans for that weekend and it was even more amazing that we could ever imagine. But I won’t talk about that right now, since that’s another story and deserves it’s own post. 😉 Plus I have some cute pictures to share, so this will definitely be topic of one of my next posts.
As you can see my blog is getting more and more personal. Sure there will still be things that won’t be that “personal,” but I finally feel that I’m ready to share more than I used to with you guys. Because this is all me and although I know this will make me more vulnerable at some point and make me feel like I’m standing naked in front of hundreds of people sometimes … I feel in my heart that is the right thing to do. Because this is me! This is who I really am and I want to be honest with you. I want to tell you that life doesn’t always turn up as you planned, that some things happen and you don’t understand why or how, but when you look back – it was meant to be that way. Some won’t understand, some will be hurt with your actions, but if they really care about you they’ll understand eventually why you did things your way. Absolutely all rocky roads will lead you to point where you’re supposed to be at this exact moment. Just trust your feelings and listen to your heart – that’s the most important thing you need to remember. If something doesn’t feel right or when something feels so damn right and you’re afraid to admit it – just go with the flow and live with no regrets.
Have a beautiful day and take care,